humor

Rules for Getting Your Comments Accepted Here

Tue, 2017-02-21 16:35

I know what you are doing. I do it too. You go around posting comments on other people's blogs hoping to get a link back to your own site and get you some Google juice. The difference in you and me is that I seek out blogs with similar topics to whatever blog I am trying to promote. The last I heard relevance is important to Google. When I visit a blog I read the post and if I can think of something intelligent to say I join in the conversation. You gotta have a lot of blogs in your feed reader to make this work.

I know this blog is beautiful and that I can write circles around Hemingway. Or maybe that is not true at all and you are a lousy judge of art. Either way, comments about my mini talents will get you deleted.

This is not a how-to blog unless I wake up in the morning and decide to write a how-to post. Questions about how I made such a wonderful blog or how I keep it spam free will be deleted. If you honestly want me to make you a wonderful blog such as this I will direct you to my contact form. Along those same lines, I kinda wish those wanna be professionals who e-mail me daily asking me if this website is living up to it's potential would dry up and blow away.

In conclusion, I would like to apologize to Sue for letting her comment languish in my queue for 4 months or so. Her website is not relevant but her comment certainly is.

BTW, I know I gots some images not showing up on the site. Thanks.

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A Tip For All My Fellow White People

Wed, 2008-02-27 13:26

I am sorry to have to admit this, but I am a white person. WASP was my acronym even before the Internet(s) came along. I do have a cousin with brown eyes, but I think that comes from the other side of the family. Mostly we are just all white in my family.

Imagine my joy when Stick Figure Lis turned me on to this great new website Stuff White People Like. It is just wonderful to read about the trends involving folks just like me. Well, maybe not exactly like me, because I am more of a rural mountain white person than anything else, but that is cool because I get to feel superior about living in an 'authentic neighborhood' and stuff.

The thing that made me most proud was the endorsement of the metal water bottle.
I have one myself as you see here: bottle Sure, it is not a fancy one with a logo like you see on the other site, but I can fill it with pure natural mountain well water any time I like and enjoy that nice saved the planet feeling. I mean, of course I recycle, but reusable is so much better, don't ya think?

Anyway, I promise to feel superior any time I see someone drinking out of one of those expensive plastic water bottles. I need to remember to carry my metal bottle around more so I can look superior too. You just know it's right.

Tune in next week for a photo series depicting my quest for the perfect travel coffee mug. I promise it will be worth your while.

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My Future Depends On It

Tue, 2007-12-18 01:08

This post was inspired by Beth from over at Ramblings of an Undisturbed Mind, whom everyone knows as the coolest girlie geek or maybe just the coolest redneck girlie geek. I don't know which she prefers, but Lord knows I ain't taking any chances.

It turns out that the aforementioned hot blogging redneck chick is running a most unbelievable contest that could win me no end of Internet fame and maybe a little fortune too if I play my cards right. I must admit, I noticed the contest a couple of days ago, and decided to blow it off. I mean, when you got looks like me, paid employment, and a hot blog such as this one, who needs fame, right.?

Then I read The Article.

The Article was written by one of those oh-so-suave British guys and was intended to be a put down aimed at the ladies of his country. That is fine, I don't know any British chicks, and if he wants to refer to them as lard-butt British frumps I can offer no argument.

The thing that got to me is what he said about American women.

Turns out, when American girls reach the age where looking good is no longer effortless, they are expected and also willing to shell out the cash to keep them at the peak of their game. I clicked through to a previous article and came up with a dollar amount. Turns out that the average American woman spends $700 on basic beauty maintenance and another grand on physical fitness each and every month. That is a pretty good chunk of change, folks.

I am not entirely sure when looking good will become effortless for me. It could be that a half century of natural beauty is all that anyone could ask, or it could be that I am one of the fortunate ones and will have a few decades of the good life yet to come. It is hard to say.

The hard truth is that one day, I am gonna have to pay.

And so, in an effort to plan for the future, I really really hope I win the cool blogging redneck girlie geek contest. Not really sure how I will turn all this newfound Internet fame into cold hard cash, but what the heck, it worked for John Chow.

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My Chance At Fame, Dashed

Tue, 2007-12-04 22:47

Well, the results are in, and I was passed over in the A Blog about Nothing’s $50.00 blogging challenge. Not only will I never know know the thrill of having my server melted by hoards of sweaty circus goers, but the dream I have held even longer, the one where I drape myself in leather and am mistaken for a football, is put on ice as well. Perhaps that is just as well, my husband is not a big sports fan and may have missed the reference. Better a dream postponed than a dream crushed.

I can't let it get me down too much, because a friend Mr O (mind if I call ya Mr O?, cause I think that is cool) did manage to win, and he plans to do something genuinely creative with the cash. As If. Sure is hard to sell out in the current culture.

In other news, and I guess it is ok to write about this since it is posted in the humor category, it looks like I may take over the advertisements for my organization. The person I may replace was a brilliant and funny master of the craft. Just couldn't get the facts right often enough. Opening times are important it seems. I can't really tell ya from here if I will do any better on that, but I already wear so many hats that I can do no wrong.

Power attracts the corruptible. So what am I doing here? I am already gone, ya know. Eye-wink

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$50 Blog Contest

Wed, 2007-11-28 15:00

A Blog About Nothing is sponsoring a contest for bloggers. The idea is to come up with a good way to spend fifty dollars to improve your blog.

It is acknowledged that there is not a huge amount of money at stake here. If the prize amounted to say fifty thousand, I could do wonderful things like take a writing course, hire a graphic designer, and maybe even get a life and therefore have something to blog about. Not sure $50 would make a dent in any of these options.

Desperate times call for desperate measures, folks. I think the money would be best spent on something from this page (WARNING: Not Safe For Work). I could then be photographed wearing it and post the photo here. That should do the trick.

The only question is whether to put some extra $$ into it and get something really nice, or to hold some in reserve for a new server for when the "Old Fat Lady Wins Contest, Poses in Leather Skivvies" headline hits the front page of Digg. Eye-wink

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Pirates

Tue, 2007-05-15 00:01

Arr! Talk like a pirate day came a little bit early this year. I have been getting to know some of the scurvy dogs over at IconBuffet and somehow we managed to run a bit amok yesterday. I laughed out loud all day long.

If ye be needing a place ter stash yer booty, drop by the hideout. If it be a quiet place ye seek, yer welcome right here!

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