Smokin in the Boy's Room

Wed, 2010-05-05 22:01

So I was working in the restaurant one day, running the cash register. That kinda puts me in charge by default, without any official power. They trusted me enough to handle huge stacks of cash, but not enough to make the decisions to keep the place running long enough to close up and get home. I am cool with that, but on this particular occasion my loyalties do get tested.

During this particular shift Ellen comes out of the kitchen and tells me that Juan has caught a couple waitresses smoking something reeeally funny.

Now I don't really care what the waitresses do as long as they tables happy. I do however know that Ellen is very straight and will probably tell the owner what happened. I figure I better get to the bottom of this right away.

I go and find Juan. Juan is fresh outa Mexico. We are pretty good friends because most nights I take the Mexicans wherever they want to go and then home. We have a pretty good rapport and therefore I am surprised when I asked him what happened to have him tell me, in Spanish:

"Lady, your dress is black"

I know when I am getting the runaround. I proceed to tell him in extremely broken Spanish that the owner will ask me and therefore I am asking him.

Juan understands and walks me to the men's room. He demonstrates what happened. Seems our rocket scientist waitresses not only think the men's room is the proper place to smoke their hooch but that is unnecessary to check the stalls.

Don't you people know about the dumpsters? I mean really...

So I call the owner on the phone.

Owner: Did that really happen?

Me: Yes Juan really took a crap.

Not sure whatever happened to the waitresses.

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